KC's vents

AP exams!

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 23:31:28 GMT

Congrats me! The fruits of my labor have not gone unrewarded. I passed my AP English exams with a 3, and my APUSH exams with a 4.

All WTF-ness related to my getting a higher score in History than English aside, I feel really good.

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 23:14:25 GMT

My last day of school was today! I am really happy and a little sad. I'm going to miss my teachers over the break and I didn't have a chance to say goodbye to all of them either. Hopefully, I'll be seeing a lot of my friends.

My sister is also here and causing me a great deal of stress. She's only been here a little more than a day, but she's already annoying me. We fight a lot when she's around, so I've been making a huge effort not to get angry at her because she just got here. She is making it very hard though. She doesn't seem that happy to see me and even though I've ignored the things she does that annoy me, she isn't doing the same. Not one nice thing has come out of her month since she's been here. In fact, she been telling me what not to do. Regardless of the fact that she is my sister, she's moved out and therefore a guest. And as a guest, she should be less rude. I was dreading her coming, and now I know I was right. I've been in my room since I got home from school because she's been bothering so much. Today was my last day at school and she's ruining my happiness. I've been angry for hours at her, and then I get even more angry because I'm letting her bother me so much. So, after I post this, I'm going to let it go.

On another note, over the summer I really want to make a change. Ever since I moved to Virginia, I've been very shy. I want to become more like the person I used to be. Honestly, if I could strike a balance between the me now and the me I was, I think I would be pretty well off. I feel like I missed out on a lot this year because I was so withdrawn. I'm going to be a Senior next year, and I want my last year in high school to be the best it can be. So my goals for the summer are to be more outspoken and lose a little weight. 5-10 pounds would be great. I love junk food a lot though, so I'll be hard...

And I was asked to a bonfire party and to go to AMA. I guess that's an anime convention? It sounds fun in any case, I hope I can go.

EDIT: I guess what it boils down to is that she hurt my feelings... I was excited to see her whatever my misgivings and she kinda treating me like dirt.

Fri, 01 May 2009 00:14:07 GMT

I'm really happy right now... because I studied for my APUSH exam.

I feel incredibly nerdy and ecstatic at the same time. But that's better than me freaking out like I was doing a couple of weeks earlier. After this month is over and all my exams are finished, I'm going to be on top of the world. I can feel it. <3

YAY.

Wed, 22 Apr 2009 20:22:28 GMT

It's my birthday today and I had an amazing day. I brought in cookies for APUSH and they loved them. I got great presents and even an unexpected one from a classmate.

FUCK YEAH 17th BIRTHDAY!

... now, I have to stop procrastinating and do homework.

Whew....

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 21:59:34 GMT

Finally I was able to give the letter to Caitlin. She hadn't been at school all last week, and I didn't want to email the letter to her.

I feel a little guilty, but at the same time I know I needed to tell her.

So... I guess I just wait and see now. Whatever happens, happens.

EDIT: So, she posted about it on Myspace. She didn't mention names and she wasn't mad. She said she had a letter for me too (which is how I asked her to respond).

So now I kinda feel like crap. I know I have a right to feel a certain way, but now I'm not entirely sure I handled everything the right way. She indirectly said I should had brought up the problems when they occurred, and that's probably true. It's just not my style. But I feel bad because I acted like everything was fine, even today when I gave her the letter, when it wasn't

I'm kinda torn between wanting to apologize for how I handled things, and wanting to stick by my earlier actions. I guess I'm upset by the fact that I might have had contributed to my own problem.

I feel like I have something to prove to myself too. I've been in conflicts with friends before and I've always backed down. I don't know if I should this time. Because she was/is my friend, it upsets me that I upset her. And I feel bad that I underestimated how she would react.

When I really think about it, I don't think there is ever a right way to tell a friend you don't like something about them. And perhaps rather than feeling bad that I told her so late, I should be proud that I told her at all. Or something. I need to remember that I am not a bad person for having feelings. I'll just have to be confident that I made the decision that is best for me and stick to it.

Deliberation

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 22:31:59 GMT

At this point in time, I am considering doing something I never do- starting a conflict/drama. It's seriously been long overdue, but I hate being in the middle of drama. I find it pointless.

I have a friend named Caitlyn. Since last year she's been annoying me a variety of ways. I was able to ignore it before because I didn't see her so much, but this year has shown me that we really aren't compatible. This is why:

-I'm pretty sure she's a big liar. A really big liar. That's a big no-no for me. I absolutely hate people that can't tell the truth, and I try hard to be as truthful as possible myself. She has told me multiple times about all the injuries she's had, and I believed her for a long time. However, one day she was wearing a wrist brace. When I asked her why, she told me she had a cyst and that it was liable to pop at anytime, releasing a poison into her body that could kill her. Then she told me she was getting surgery that weekend. I WAS HORRIFIED. I worried about her the whole weekend. The next week, I saw her and asked her how the surgery went and she told me she wasn't having it yet. She wasn't wearing her brace either. Furthermore, when I told some other friends about it, they informed me that cysts don't work that way. Even more recently, she told me she went into surgery (for what, I don't know. By this point in time I didn't care enough to ask), and when they put her under, she stopped breathing for two minutes... but she was back to school the next day. Even I could realize how stupid that sounded. It's not only that. If you name some sort of illness, she'll tell you she's had it.

-She's got this annoying habit of rubbing her accomplishments in my face. I've been having trouble with Chemistry all year. When I used to tell her how badly I was doing, she saw that as an opportunity to tell me how much better she was doing in the class than me. WTF?

-She broke up with her boyfriend recently... and immediately picked up a new girlfriend. I have nothing against gay or lesbian people. I have friends who are homosexuals, and a relative that was. Anyway, after her breakup, she began wearing all this rainbow stuff, constantly reminding me she was bisexual, and pointing out other girls that were hot. None of which she ever did before the breakup. Furthermore, I've always been under the impression that if you have to tell people over and over again that you're gay, you're probably not. I think she's jumping on a bandwagon, since it's becoming popular to be gay in some circles. The whole thing rubs me the wrong way.

Like I've stated before, it's gotten so bad I can't pretend I care about her anymore. I honestly don't think I can be a good friend to her, and I don't want her to be a friend to me.

Watchmen...

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 00:58:06 GMT

I just got home from watching Watchmen. I don't know if I liked it or not, because it made me uncomfortable on about 10 different levels. D=

Plus it took forever. I've been out for about five hours when all I wanted to do was stay home.

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 22:22:31 GMT

I've been in a bit of a funk since Saturday. I feel like I seriously need to pull my head out of my ass.

I've had two days off from school, and I'm getting a third. So, I should focus on the good things and not get bogged down about stuff. Especially when I'm not sure what I'm upset about. Feeling depressed is not cool.

My day is getting better now, and I'm going to make sure tomorrow I feel even better than I do right now. I just need to keep in mind I do have a good life. <3

<3

Sun, 01 Mar 2009 22:58:19 GMT

I love Kuroshitsuji so much.

Why didn't I get into it sooner?

So Exams...

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 22:29:34 GMT

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKK.

My friends are so unresponsible D=

Ahhh...

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 01:37:14 GMT

I watched the Powerpuff Girls all day, and I am not ~~entirely~~ ashamed to admit it. It felt good, I've liked the show since I was little and it was a big part of my childhood.

Did some studying for my French exam. I am a little apprehensive about it, but it's only French and I've never been bad at that class.

I skimped on my end of the APUSH test hints for today, and I feel slightly guilty for it. Looking up some of them made me feel like ripping my hair out though. Sheesh.

And I get to eat an excellent lunch at school tomorrow, I'm so happy! We're watching the inauguration, too, but I'm honestly sick about hearing "OMIGOD OBAMA IS PRESIDENT!" Yes, thank you everyone, I already got the memo just fine.

About the grandparents...

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 20:28:02 GMT

FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKK. D=

I'm so angry, and I feel guilty because I'm angry.

BTW mom, using Simone being 18 when she first went on a plane as an excuse for me not being able to is LAME because that's never stopped you from letting me do something before.

I don't even think I can stand to be around her for a while. She basically told me she doesn't care if they die and I never forgive her for not letting me see them anyway.

sigh

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 23:35:48 GMT

I really want to visit my grandparents this summer.

And I honestly don't think I'll be fair if my sister gets to visit us here instead.

I want to be able to say I saw them recently if anything happens to them. They aren't getting any younger after all.

And I really think if my mother says no and something does happen, that I will never be able to forgive her.

sigh

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 20:28:13 GMT

So I'm supposed to check out George Mason this weekend with my dad and step-mother. She emailed me yesterday and asked me to bring some "nice" to wear- you know, no jeans or anything. I'm a pretty casual person, so this required some serious thinking. So, I was thinking it over, and managed to come up with something. I have a green sweater dress and some leggings. My mom asked me what type of shoes I was going wear. She suggested I wear my Kitson. They are sneakers, so I said no. I don't like doing things half way, and I don't think sneakers constitute "nice." Cue this:

Mom: Why will you bend over backwards for her but not me? (Not exactly what she said, but the gist of it.)

Me: 'WTF, where did this come from?'

Why are you so jealous? (Obviously the wrong thing to say, since that's where the conversation started going downhill.)

Mom: What?! I'm not jealous, I just want to know why.

I'm kinda confused at this point, I stop talking to her and leave and wait for the bus. I told my friend about it at school, and promptly forgot all about it. Apparently she hasn't because when I walk in the door...

Me: I think I have a "B" in Chemistry! (I've been doing horrible, I thought I had a 'D' up till now. Probably it's more like a 'C' BUT NOT THE POINT MOVING ON)

Mom: Oh.

Me (kinda joking, kinda not): Oh? That's all you can say? After all the trouble I've been having? I think I'm a little mad at you.

Mom: We need to talk.

Me: What about?! I haven't even done anything.

Mom: Why would you think I'm jealous?

Me (WTF x2, I had thought we were done with this): Uh... cause you were.

It goes downhill again, she says I'm taking her for granted, and I think she's lying about being jealous (though I didn't say that, I'm not entirely stupid). So here I am upstairs, still wondering what the fuck just went on here. And honestly, I think I'm being a little insensitive, but it's hard for me to explain my feelings, and she never listens anyway. If I tell her how I feel, she just tell me how I'm wrong and not even take the time to listen to my side. I don't know why she ever expects me to do different.

Also, I think I need to take a break from the computer, because I think I have carpal tunnel. My wrist hurts like a bitch too. Yeah, that sucks...

Sheesh

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 01:40:17 GMT

Me and my mom were watching Jeopardy. We watch it every night, it's actually one of my favorite parts of the day. No matter how mad I get at her, I always make it a point to watch it with her. I do it almost without fail.

Today when we were watching it, her brother called. She didn't even want to talk to him (she was rolling her eyes towards the end of the conversation). Anyway, I'm thinking, 'Just tell him you're watching Jeopardy with me and you'll call him back. No big deal, he had all day to call you anyway. This is my time.' No dice. The conversation goes on longer and longer, and it gets towards 7:50. I'm pretty much a creature of habit, and I have a schedule for my weekday nights. I like to spend an hour on the computer, making my bedtime 9 o'clock. We aren't even halfway through the show, so I decide if she isn't done by 7:50, I'm leaving and she can just stay on the damn phone. She isn't off the phone by then, and I leave.

Which is when she magically decides she can put the phone down. I'm already upstairs, sitting down, on the computer, so I'm done. She tries to get me to come back down for a bit, but when I try to tell her why I'm so upset, she completely misses the point that this is my time with her, what I look forward to all day, and all I ask is that she can stay off the phone 30 minutes. I don't see why this is such a big deal. She tells me that I'm always expecting her to drop every thing to pay attention to me. I don't. She talks on the phone all day, watches TV all day. Hell, on the weekends, she barely sees me. She was fucking TiVo, and gets all bent out of shape if someone wants to talk to her during any of the 50 shows she watches during the day. Newsflash: TiVo has a pause button for a reason.

So thanks Mom, once again, for missing the point. And the worst part is, I have a feeling I did something wrong, and hate that. This isn't even the first time this has happened. And she makes me feel sometimes like her TV shows and the rest of the family are much more important than me.

Just have to let it out...

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 04:49:34 GMT

I am so happy.

I was afraid it wasn't going to happen.

It's a beautiful moment, and it feels wonderful.

Woah...

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 15:48:06 GMT

So school started close to three weeks ago, maybe more like four. It feels like it's been forever though. I've been so busy with all my classes, not to mention that I haven't really had a break from work, not even this summer. But, it's cool. I think I'm finally in the mood to start being more active here and online in general again. I haven't really talked to any of my friends since school started, so it's time to fix that.

SO SCHOOL, YEAH. My classes are crazy, but I'm enjoying most of them for sure.

Algebra II is not so bad. My teacher kinda reminds me of Mrs. Olszowy and I dunno why. Works in her favor though, since that means she gets automatic bonus points in my book. My grade is probably crap in that class. I have to study, study, study this year.

Psychology is really cool so far. The teacher kinda sucks, but oh well. If I don't pay attention I'll probably do better in that class, lol. I have Amy in that class, so it's fun. And I met Lydia there too, who is also in my...

Chemistry class. Which I think I'm failing. My one consolation is that I think a lot of people are. My teacher doesn't seem like he knows the material much better than I do, everyone in class is always correcting him. LOL, YOU FAIL DR. MOORE.

I skipped over Art. I don't have much to say about it. I wish I had my old teacher back. She was like my grandma.

APUSH. Supposed to be my hardest class, but the one I like the most. Which is good, I have it everyday. I love my teacher here. She is so nice and supportive to all of us. She even hyped me up over the 'D' I got on my first test.

And then blah, blah, English and French. I'm actually getting sick of writing this and I obviously wasn't doing too well before. I don't mind these classes either.

It's just school really. There are some people getting on my nerves, but I won't go into detail since I'm reposting this elsewhere. (Ah, the wonders of copy-and-paste.)

Also, procrastination. =D

WRY.

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 00:00:15 GMT

   - My PS3 corrupted memory on my PS2 memory card (which I ending up fixing, but I was livid for a day)

   - I messed up my thumb peeling a lemon

   - I stabbed myself in the toe with my pencil, and then had to sit for ten minutes waiting for my mom to get it out.

   - My TV is broken, and it's the newest one in the house.

   - And I think I'm sick.

   I dunno what I did, but I don't think I deserved all of this because of it. At least not all at once. Sheesh. And not to mention, my dad still hasn't called for school shopping. I'm pretty sure he's not going to either. That's kinda an asshole thing to do, and I wish he'd call to tell me if he wasn't coming. I wouldn't mind, he's paying for my Psychology class.

Dreams and fanart

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 22:51:30 GMT

      So I had the weirdest dream this morning. Or maybe not, since I just about asked for it a while back. A couple of entries ago, I mentioned some dreams I had had before involving my family members. And just the other day, I mentioned to my mother that I thought it was funny that I had dreams about everyone in my immediate family but my sister. The dream I had last night didn't have her in it, but it was about my Nana, which is much more disturbing in my book anyway.

     I don't remember all the details, but my dream was about my Nana dying. I understand why I had it; I've been thinking about both my grandparent's and parent's deaths lately. I looked at my mom the other day, and it really stuck me that she was getting old. And therefore so are my grandparents. Obviously that isn't something I want to dwell on, it's pretty morbid. I don't really know how to express how I feel about this. I'm not the most articulate person in the world. And the worst part is that I remember I thought, "How am I going to get that pen now?". Thinking on it now, I realize that might just one of those shocked thoughts you get at times like those, I really hope so. But I'll leave that alone for now.

     And if anyone was wondering, the pen I was talking about is something my Nana is getting me for school. You can use it to record your teachers in class while you take notes, and then it'll cross-reference what the teacher said with whatever you wrote. It'll be pretty nifty for me, because my teacher went really fast during note-taking last year, and I had a lot of trouble figuring out my notes later. I'm supposed to be getting it soon, so I'm excited about it. Not to mention I'm extremely close to being done with my homework. That's how it feels anyway.

     Yeah, so I also mentioned fanart in the title. They're my first two real attempts, and I know I messed up on Hiei bad (I'm talking major WTF on anything but the face, which is the only part I'm okay with. And maybe the hands. Given my record in art, they could had been a lot worse), but I'm pretty happy with Osaka.

Hm...

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 22:54:06 GMT

I think I'm lonely.

I guess that's to be expected, seeing as I haven't seen anyone this summer.

I wish I back in school though. It seems so close and so far away too.

And I still have to finish my homework. Dx

Oh well, hopefully I'll be better tomorrow.

Avatar Finale

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 12:52:49 GMT

Seriously, just... wow.

I don't think I can write anything coherent on it, having just finished watching it. The final battle was awesome to watch and I want the music they played during it. I really have to say, this is probably my favorite ending to a show ever.

I'm a little in awe, I think.

Does anyone know the name of the music they used in the final battle though? I'd really like to hear it again.

Writer's Block: Dreams

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 01:34:15 GMT

Talk about a recurring dream you've had, or talk about your most vivid dream. What makes it stick in your memory?

Submitted By umbreons_shadow

View 500 Answers

I do have recurring dreams, only I don't remember any of them now. I'm a big scaredy cat, so I used to have a lot of dreams about Chucky or Pennywise. It's kinda embarrassing to think about.

Three dreams stick out to me, and one is about my father, one about my mother, and the other is about me. All have either freaked me out or made me cry afterwards.

The first one about my father happened when he was overseas in Iraq. It was a long time ago, so I don't remember all the details. My parents, my sister, and I were sitting having dinner, and for some reason I had a sword exactly like Cloud's from FF7. So, somehow or another I went to cut some meat on my dad's plate and cut his arm off. I was freaking out in the dream while he tried to reassure me that he was alright. That dream was probably the worst. I would say I am a pretty calm person, but I snapped at someone that day and cried at school, which I hardly ever do.

The one pertaining to my mother had the family on a quest in the mountains, searching for a new TiVo for my mom (she is very attached to her TiVos, I think she likes them more than me xD), and we came to a lake bed which my mom then procceded to acidently drive in. Everyone else managed to make it out before the car hit water except for my mom. Once again I was freaking out, only it was worse this time since neither my father nor my sister seemed to be worried. And sure enough, she made it out just fine. I think I cried after this one too.

The one about me had my father in it for a little, but mostly was just me and my mom. We where at an abandoned amusement park, but it wasn't scary or anything. The rides were working all by themselves, because we were the only ones there. We went on one of those swing rides, where you're sitting and the ride just goes in a cirle, and I ended up falling off. My mom was worried, but I felt fine and didn't understand why she was so upset. And then, at the very end of the dream, I realized I had a big piece of metal sticking out of my head, and had been totally unaware the whole time. This one actually was the least upsetting of the three to me though.

My mother

Fri, 18 Aug 2006 01:59:53 GMT

Ugh.

My mother is pissing me off. She keeps asking me what's wrong with me, why am I so moody?

I don't know. Until I get home, I'm just fine. And as far as I know, nothing is wrong.

So why won't she just trust me?

Knotts!

Tue, 16 May 2006 22:33:51 GMT

I'm going to Knott's tomorrow,but somehow I have been thinking yesterday at Disney would be funnier.

I got to hug Mickey and ride with him and Donald in the omnibus! It was so cool.I almost died.

I'm also a bit jealous.Nicole has been hanging with Beth more,and I don't like it.Beth isn't really a great person,and until now Nicole didn't seem to like her much.Now,they're like best friends.

Eh,if I was feeling up to it I just ask Nicole about it,but I'm a bit afraid to.

Sun, 04 Dec 2005 18:22:38 GMT

You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything.
You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life.
You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you.

Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace.
You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life.
Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times.

At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you.
You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others.
You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

What Temperment Are You?

KC's vents

AP exams!

YAY.

Whew....

Deliberation

Watchmen...

<3

So Exams...

Ahhh...

About the grandparents...

*sigh*

*sigh*

Sheesh

Just have to let it out...

Woah...

WRY.

Dreams and fanart

Hm...

Avatar Finale

Writer's Block: Dreams

My mother

Knotts!

sigh

sigh